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Rent Boys Inc.
Pictish / No Grat - 7"
(independent) - 1982
Michael Panontin
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By the early eighties, the scene in Toronto was in a state of flux. The original punks had either crashed and burned (the Viletones and Cardboard Brains), lost their edge to new wave (the Diodes) or simply devolved into knuckle-dragging rockers (Teenage Head). A new guard was emerging to help fill that void. It was a disparate group that included the Government, Kinetic Ideals, Vital Sines and of course Rent Boys Inc, a five-piece unit that was busy staking out the funkier end of the post-punk spectrum.
Rent Boys Inc formed towards the end of 1981, right about the time that Pigbag was enjoying massive success with their 'Papa's Got a Brand New Pigbag' twelve-inch. "Bands like New Order and Pigbag had crossover hits that were hugely popular in Toronto," percussionist Nick Smash told CM, "and this was the inspiration for us - and others - to self-finance our own recordings for release, separate from label interference and meddling."
The group's quirky mantra of "no rehearsing, ever" meant that it would take a little longer for them to flesh out proper songs. But in June of 1982, Rent Boys Inc - Smash, along with singer Simon 9, drummer Mikal C, bassist Brat X and saxophonist Howeird Zephyr - entered Wellesley Studios to record the single that would help bust open the Toronto post-punk scene.
Primal and animalistic, 'Pictish' seems to take more than a few cues from the Contortions' hyper funk throwdowns and the angular vitriolic of the Pop Group. The song kicks off with a sparsely plucked bass, stringing up the listener in suspense before vaulting into its kinetic punk-funk workout. Simon Nine's vocal stance here is pure defiance, barked and growled rather than sung, while Zephyr's meandering soprano sax weaves a nice touch of the exotic into it. On the backside, the guys come up to the surface for a bit of air on the more dancefloor-amenable 'No Grat', with its cheesy disco whistles and exhortations to "dance (while you still got the chance)".
Rent Boys were still pretty much an unknown concern when 'Pictish' showed up in the shops, but that was about to change. "When 'Pictish' was released, we were playing any gig we could get in the Toronto area," Smash explained, "but by early 1983 the band were finding gigs as far as Montreal and Ottawa and playing regular sold-out shows in Toronto."
Things got even better when they issued the follow-up Squeal for Joy EP, a more polished, though equally acerbic, 12" platter that came out in 1983. "'Squeal For Joy' really solidified our fan base, which led to a thirty-minute TV documentary broadcast on CITY-TV," he recalls. "And so the band felt the need to make a move out of Toronto, as there were limits as to what could be achieved within the Canadian music business at the time."
They set their sights on the UK, where offbeat post-punk was almost mainstream. With a manager promising them some dates in Japan, Rent Boys hatched a plan to spend some time in London before heading off to Tokyo. "The move was set for the end of July 1983 and the last gig at The Beverley Tavern on Queen Street attracted a full house. Soon after, we set up shop across west London. We settled in various squats, parks and spare spaces and started getting gigs at infamous underground venues like The Bat Cave, The Tear It Down Ballroom, The Moonlight Club and the legendary Hope And Anchor." Success, or at least the sort of indie-chart cred that post-punk bands could expect back then, seemed just around the corner.
But that unfortunately was not to be.
"As night follows day, the manager disappeared, as did our trip to Japan. The sordid fallout meant desperation set in and the dole beckoned." Still, there were glimmers of hope for the group, even in the face of such despair. "We had a couple of stunning reviews in Sounds, and a double-page spread in the famous Zig Zag magazine, which gave us a short uplift of hope." An impressive achievement, one has to admit, after just a few months in England. But it still wasn't enough to keep the band together, as anyone who has been skint in the British capital can tell you. "Life in gloomy, wet and cold London in December with no money was no place for an aspiring Rent Boy, so Brat X and Zephyr moved back to the comfy home life in Toronto."
The others stayed on, eventually finding replacements on bass and sax, and even managing to record a track with Jah Wobble (the 1985 flexi-disc 'One in a Million'). But without a proper management deal or any record company interest to speak of, Rent Boys Inc were, as Smash so aptly describes it, "doomed to join the thousands of other musicians struggling in the new Dickensian world of Thatcherism and the London of 1985."
And so with the group's obituary all but written, Rent Boys Inc split up for good. Simon 9 and Mikal C went on to form the Myth, while Smash hooked up with his hometown mate in the Dave Howard Singers before settling in for a long stint behind the desk at Island Records.
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